A week on Feeld with…a non-binary lesbian living in London.

DAY 1

As a long-time singleton, I have been curious about Feeld for yonks, and now that I’m increasingly curious and confident in my sexuality it feels like the right time to give it a go. 

I am assured by my friends who have used Feeld that it’s better than some other dating apps for users actually following through on going from matching to meeting, rather than the all too common, and boring, app experience where you both match and then sit in silence… I hope to prove them right. 

Upon first opening the app after downloading it, I’m already intrigued by the initial differences to other dating apps I’ve used. When I’m making my profile I’m pleased by all the drop-down options for gender and sexuality—I choose Non-binary Queer, looking for women and non-binary people. 

And then it’s time for the first scrolling along. It’s noticeably full of (gorgeous) people I haven’t seen before, which is great. Even coming across some of the same people I’ve seen on other dating apps (classic) I notice that people use different photos (I have too), or choose to share different information—on Feeld people tend to describe their sexual interests more explicitly and openly, which is refreshing (and hot!) but less information about their lives or work or answers to boring question prompts. 

I also immediately notice that people can pair their profiles with others if they’re in non-monogamous relationships—this is ideal for me as something I’m actively seeking from using Feeld is meeting couples for threesomes. The holy grail would be finding a t4t lesbian couple where I fancy both of them. Fingers crossed! 

DAY 2

I must say it’s very good for my ego seeing the numbers of Likes going up within hours after downloading the app. I get one or two Pings which is very flattering, but overthink sending them. Will I seem too keen? I decide to save them for when I have more wiggle room in my schedule (or if I see a perfect masc 4 masc lesbian couple.)

DAY 3 

After a couple of evenings of scrolling and chatting and dopamine hits, when the red screen tells me my Like is mutual, I arrange a date with someone whose profile name is just the letter L—funnily enough, I remember that they were the first person I Liked on the app. I tell them this, and they’re fun about it, telling me they’ll go easy on me. 

We decide to meet at a craft beer place because I know it’s a low-key, low-lit place that’s got a good vibe even earlier in the week. When we meet, I immediately think L is just as good-looking as their photos, but we take a little while to warm up—both literally, as it’s freezing cold and raining, but also because their vibe is more thoughtful and sensitive than my usual preference for extroverted yapping. We find a balance though and after a few drinks our knees are touching under the table and hands are resting on each others’ thighs. The bar closes and we are thrown into the rain too soon—we shelter under an awning and my date uses this as an excuse to make a move. I find that sometimes my dates expect me to make the first move (perhaps because I’m masc presenting?) but I adore it when someone else asks to kiss me first. It feels cinematic to be huddled together in the rainy streets. I agree when they invite me to make the walk back to theirs, despite the weather and an early start for work the next day— yolo! After a surprisingly deep chat and light and easy hook up, we lie in bed spooning and I think, “I’m so glad my friends were right about Feeld.” 

DAY 4 

At work the next day, feeling happy and hot even through my hangover, L texts me asking if I’d like to do that again sometime. After thinking about it the rest of the day I realize I’m honored but find I am yearning to play the feeld (!) right now instead. I draft a way to say this as honestly and inoffensively as possible, and they send a nice reply. A win for open communication and truly casual sex.

In the meantime, I have a few different chats going with some other matches, and am enjoying the variety of who comes up on my Likes. It is so good to be able to browse through the potential hotties out there who also think I am a potential hottie! It is also encouraging me to think outside of my usual type—I’m often quite blinkered on t4t mascs but maybe this app could lead me to experiment with a femme era…

DAY 5

A very hot trans guy whose pictures show him posing topless and flaunting his scar tattoos sends me full on sexts. Hot. We agree to meet when he’s visiting London in a few weeks. Good to have something to look forward to. 

DAY 6

Speaking of travelling, at the weekend I visit a friend in Belfast. My friend dares me to try to kiss an Irish person while I’m here. This seems a hard challenge for me, particularly as I’m going to be mostly hanging out with my friend whose house I’ll be staying in, so it would feel very rogue to go on a date or hook-up… But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Feeld Majestic can automatically update my location to search for local hotties. I browse the locals in Belfast while in the airport queueing for the coach into town, and find… a hot t4t lesbian couple! Even better, by the time I’ve reached the tourist attractions I’ve matched with them! Score! 

I say I’m only in the city for the weekend and ask if they’d fancy a Guinness and a flirt for the fun of it—celebrate St Patrick’s day in style—and they say yes. In the end I can’t make the cabaret show they invite me to attend with the two of them and their queer football team (!) but one of them, K, says they’re free the following night if I still want to meet… Well, you know what they say, one hot butch is better than none. I agree. 

DAY 7

The next night I go to what my host friend assures me is the gay bar in Belfast and I meet K on the dancefloor. They have a shaved head and a big smile and welcome me with a huge hug. I know I’m going to have a good night. We flirt at the bar, order Guinesses, and then make out all night. Oh to be on holiday with a pre-arranged dancefloor kiss. Happy St Patrick’s Day, indeed. 

All in all, I couldn’t have asked for more from a first week on a dating app and as I return to London, I feel very excited for my future on Feeld!